I find myself in a very strange situation, pleasant, but not that usual for me - I have nothing to do! And what’s even more strange is that I’m loving it!
I’m away from home for 12 days, so I don’t have my regular day to day tasks to attend to. I’m on holiday from both of my part-time jobs, so work is not intruding (not too much anyway). My day to day tasks here are minimal and always easier in someone else’s house. There’s no one to talk to and the time zone is off-kilter with home, so those chats must be managed. And I’m loving it!
Before I left home, I was talking it up for myself – “It’ll be great to get a break”, “stepping off the high speed treadmill will be good”, “it’s a chance to catch your breath and refocus”. Some of this was to create an expectation of success and some was to over-ride the guilty voice. You know that guilty voice, don’t you? The one that doesn’t allow you to take meaningful time for yourself; that says you should be busy all the time; that when you’ve gotten to the end of your list, it just means you’ve forgotten something. Isn’t it strange, and more than a little bit sad, that we treat ourselves in a way we would never treat others? How many times have you said to a friend – “sit down, take a break” or “let me make you a cuppa” or “you really should take some time off”? I know I’ve done it lots of times, to other people.
So, here I am, beautiful weather and a lovely doggie for company and I find myself saying “here’s a chance to catch upon things you’ve let slide”, “why not make a list?”. But, strangely enough, a stronger voice is saying, “Helen, chill. Let it all go, and just be”.